Hard Pressed on every Side, but not Crushed

I just finished this book called Beyond Jabez by Dr. Bruce Wilkinson. A passage of the book that really stuck out to me was the following:

“If you live your whole life in a comfort zone, you’re not much of a threat to the enemy. But when you stretch yourself for God beyond what feels safe, when you anticipate fear and choose not to run from it, when in God’s strength you walk right past your border bullies, and when the hand of God enables you to take new territory – that’s when Satan begins to oppose you most actively.”

The past two weeks I have felt like I have been slipping back into my old self. The person who withdraws and shuts down when life gets hard. The person who doesn’t reach out to others and hardens herself because she doesn’t want to show weakness or vulnerability. I’ve lost the joy I felt from the Lord before I took this job. I’ve been beaten down by a schedule that has run me ragged. I know this is the hand of Satan attacking me, trying to shut me down. I hate being so exhausted at the end of the day. I don’t want to be with friends and don’t have time to be with youth kids. I’m treading water to keep my head afloat. My Eeyore state of mind has been a thorn in my side all week. 

A verse in 2 Corinthians also came to my mind this weekend.

“We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.” (2 Cor 4:7-10)

This passage gives me hope that no matter how hard life’s demands press upon me, God will not allow me to be crushed. God has brought me to this job and He will not abandon me. I may get knocked down, but I will not be destroyed because God is fighting for me. He is fighting the evil one for me. And I choose not to roll over and play dead to the evil one, but to fight back because God’s light is shining in my heart. I will fight for the boundaries between work and my life. I will fight for my relationship with the Lord to stay strong. And I choose to continue to cooperate with the Lord in the restoration process He has already begun.